How to have a happy and holy family, Sermon for the feast of the Holy Family

 Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph

December 26^th, 2010

Matthew 2:13-15, 19-23

Joseph rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed for Egypt.

Today, the feast of the Holy Family, we are afforded the opportunity to consider the great dignity of married life. The vocation to marriage is indeed a high calling, both a challenge and an immense supernatural blessing. As we think of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, we are both encouraged to strive forward in our own vocations and we are strengthened by their example to persevere in the face of every difficulty.

As we consider the home in Nazareth, there are two central realities which come to light: first, this home was a place of prayer; and second, the Holy Family worked hard. Prayer and work intertwined to create a marvelous harmony in the life of the Holy Family.

First, we consider the Holy Family as an example of prayer. The home in Nazareth has a spirit of quite about it – I do not say that Jesus, Mary and Joseph were perpetually silent, not by any means! Certainly, there was much joy and even laughter in that house; for the happiest people are holy people, and so the three holiest people will certainly be the most joyful Family of all. Yet, there is something of a spirit of quite which is associated with the home in Nazareth – it is the silence of prayer.

Note well how this prayerful silence differs from the sad and angry silence which is present in so many families today. Today, there is silence in the home because the husband and wife are angry with one another, or the parents and children are at odds. The silence in many families today comes from sin.

But this was not the silence of the Holy Family, it was a silence filled with love, filled with prayer.

We know that the Holy Family prayed together regularly, as all families must. Indeed, the family is the first school of prayer. But this meant more than just common prayers said together each day, for the Holy Family this also meant times for personal silent prayer as well. In addition to their common prayers, Mary and Joseph (and Jesus as he grew older) took time each day for personal mental prayer and meditation.

We can imagine how Joseph would take care of the Christ Child, so that Mary would have an opportunity to make a meditation – perhaps for an hour. Then, Mary would in turn allow Joseph to take his time for daily mental prayer as well.

And this is something which every family must do – husbands and wives must give each other the opportunity for daily mental prayer, this daily period of meditation is essential for any Christian family.

Moreover, in addition to teaching their children the common prayers that are said together, parents ought to instruct their sons and daughters on how to make a meditation. By the time a child is in high school, he should have learnt from his parents how to pray with Scripture, alone and in quite.

But it was not all prayer in that holy house of Nazareth – there was much hard work too! The Holy Family offers us an example of consecrated labor. Joseph was dedicated to his profession as a carpenter, and he worked hard to complete his work with perfection. But he didn’t put his job ahead of his Family either. When the angel came and told him to flee to Egypt, Joseph willingly abandoned his work, sacrificing his business, for the sake of his wife and her Child. Joseph knew the true value of labor and he was a good worker, but he also knew that his vocation as a husband and father came first.

And after Joseph worked hard all day in the shop, what did he do? Did he go out to the bar with “the guys”? Did he seek relaxation in the secular distractions of the world? Of course not! After a long day of work, Joseph returned home to his Family. He went to Mary and to Jesus, he fulfilled his primary vocation as father of the household.

Now I do not say that it is wrong for a man to go out with friends every so often, but we ought to ask ourselves where we find our true consolation and rest. Do we seek consolation and joy in the world, or in our family? Do we get rest and relaxation by fleeing our responsibilities, or is our true rest found with our family? Let us heed the example of St. Joseph, the worker and the spouse.

And what of Mary? She too worked hard! She was dedicated to the care of her home – for her profession was to be the housewife in the Holy Family. Did she spend her day gossiping and chattering endlessly? Of course not! She was dedicated to her work, and she fulfilled her responsibilities as the Mother of Jesus.

Consider where Mary found her consolation, joy and refreshment. It wasn’t in going off shopping all the time. She didn’t always need the newest fashionable clothing. She was constantly looking for ways to spend Joseph’s money. Rather, she found her consolation in her husband and her Son. Mary’s rest and joy was to be with her Family.

Likewise, Jesus, as he grow older and became a young adult, was not always off with friends running around Nazareth. No! He knew his duties to his Family. He loved Joseph and Mary very much, and so he spent time with them and they were his true joy.

Now I know that this can all be pretty challenging. I know that the Christian ideal of married life is exalted indeed. But we need not be discouraged, we must never despair.

If you find that family life is difficult, if you find it hard and full of sorrow; the Holy Family is with you.

Remember, that Jesus, Mary, and Joseph (as holy as they were) suffered many hardships and difficulties. No one can claim to have had a more difficult family life than the Holy Family – even looking past all the challenges which arose from the miraculous nature of Christ’s conception (challenges which nearly led Joseph to divorce the Blessed Virgin), from the moment that Christ was born the Holy Family suffered persecution and difficulties. When Jesus was just a baby, King Herod sought to kill him and they all had to flee to Egypt.

Recall as well that Joseph died when Jesus was not yet thirty years old – what sorrow this must have caused Jesus and Mary! Moreover, Jesus himself was murdered in the prime of his life, leaving Mary in grave sorrow and affliction.

Indeed, this is a Family well acquainted with grief. And so, if your family suffers, if your family struggles – the Holy Family is closest to you today! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph are your companions; turn to them, speak with them, ask them for assistance and aid. Consecrate your family to the Holy Family, and they will bring you safely through the storms of this life unto life everlasting.

An Advent Meditation on Joseph and Mary, December 19th

4^th Sunday of Advent, Year A.

December 19^th, 2010

Matthew 1:18-24

Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her.

During the season of Advent we have the opportunity to develop the interior life, the life of prayer. We all ought to be taking time every day, and especially in these final days before Christmas, to meditate upon the events of Christ’s life. The saints will tell us that daily mental prayer is morally necessary for salvation – and they recommend around 20 minutes a day. Unless we are regularly considering the great works which God has done in the past and the ways he has revealed his love for us, we will be unable to trust in his love now in the present and to look forward to his future coming in glory.

And so, whether our Advent has been a particularly good time of prayer and meditation, or whether we have not been as reflective as we had hoped to be, the Church now gives us these final days before Christmas to re-commit ourselves to daily mental prayer.

Perhaps one reason why so many of us struggle with mental prayer and meditation is that we don’t really understand what we are supposed to be doing. What exactly should those twenty minutes be spent on? What is mental prayer?

The two most popular forms of mental prayer and meditation are surely the Rosary and Lectio Divina (prayerfully reading Sacred Scripture) – I would like to focus on the second: how do we make a meditation with the Bible?

Today’s Gospel passage offers us a good opportunity to see how mental prayer should work – we can pierce into the text and try to fill it out a bit, seeking to come to a deeper appreciation of the Holy Family. All the while, during a meditation, we must be primarily concerned to look into what the holy persons present in the Biblical narrative are thinking, feeling, doing and saying. What is Mary thinking? What is Joseph thinking? Moreover, we look to discover something of the love which was in the hearts of Mary and Joseph – this love then inspires us to love God in our turn.

First of all, in order understand the relationship between Mary and Joseph, we need to know something of the historical circumstances of their betrothal and marriage. This can be discerned from a careful reading of the Bible passages.

It seems that, when Joseph and Mary were betrothed, but before they come together, they both thought that their marriage would be a natural union. There is no reason to think that either Joseph or Mary knew what God had in store for them – this is why Mary is so surprised when the angel came with the good news at the Annunciation!

Nevertheless, although Mary and Joseph entered into their betrothal period, believing that their marriage would be a normal and natural one, Mary had a desire deep in her heart to become a consecrated virgin. She desired to be a virgin, but she also knew that she was supposed to marry St. Joseph – and so she really didn’t know what to think. But she trusted in God and she also trusted in Joseph, she knew that all would come to pass for the good.

After their betrothal, Mary revealed to St. Joseph that she had a desire to become a consecrated virgin – and you can imagine that this must have been something of a surprise to Joseph! But he was a good man and a just man; and, what is more, he loved and respected Mary very much, and so he took the matter to prayer. Ultimately, Joseph agreed and the two of them together vowed virginity, promising to live as brother and sister in their married life.

But how do we know that Mary was a consecrated virgin? Think of what she said to the angel – Gabriel told her that she would conceive and give birth to a son, but Mary was terribly confused. Why was she confused? She was troubled because she had just made the vow of virginity (together with Joseph) and she knew that virgins don’t ordinarily conceive and give birth to children. If she had not vowed virginity, Mary would have presumed that the child would be the son of Joseph; but it is because she was a virgin and intended to remain a virgin that Mary said to the angel, “How can this be? Since I do not know man.”

Mary then told St. Joseph that she was with child, but she did not explain to him the full circumstances of the conception – she did not tell Joseph about the angel and the Holy Spirit. And why not? Mary remained silent because she was very humble and she did not want to speak more about the divine mysteries than was necessary. Moreover, Mary trusted in St. Joseph, she loved him and she knew that he loved her. She trusted that Joseph, being a just man, would not make a rash decision, that he would not come to a false conclusion, but that he would wait and pray and see what the Lord had to tell him.

Additionally, we see the great faith which Mary had in God – she trusted that God would reveal all things in the proper time, she knew that he would reveal the truth to Joseph in a manner most fitting and most holy.

But what did St. Joseph think? Understandably, he was very confused. On the one hand, he knew his wife was a consecrated virgin, and he knew that she was very holy. Think about it: Joseph had known Mary for many years and he had never seen her commit even the least venial sin! Every time he saw her, everything he knew about Mary told him that she was holy, a woman of great prayer and great faith. And, what is more, Joseph loved Mary, he trusted her, his heart was exceedingly tender towards her – she was his great joy in this life.

But, on the other hand, Mary was now with child – and Joseph didn’t know what to think. I do not say that he doubted the purity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, I do not say that he suspected her of sin; I only say that Joseph was torn, that he was confused, and that his faith in God was proved in that he did not act rashly, but trusted in God and took the matter to prayer.

It was at this moment, during this time of trial and confusion, that the angel of the Lord came to Joseph in a dream and revealed the truth. Think of the faith which Joseph had – he believes in a dream! He is willing to stake his whole life, his reputation, everything all on a revelation given in a dream – what faith, and what love!

How tenderly Joseph received Mary into his home – and love filled his heart all the more, as he considered the Christ Child already present in the womb of the Virgin. How Joseph loved Mary and Jesus! How tenderly he watched over them as a father and lord.

Now we have seen what was in the hearts and minds of Joseph and Mary, the next stage would be to consider what love moved the Holy Trinity, as almighty God watched over the couple and guided Joseph and Mary through every difficulty. Finally, we would then consider the heart of Jesus; even in the womb, Jesus already knew and loved each and every one of us. How he loved  his foster father Joseph. How he loved his Mother Mary. Even in those quite months, as he waited to come forth from the most pure womb of the Virgin and to be revealed to the world, Jesus was interceding in our behalf and meriting our salvation.